One Freak Girl

CORPORATE LESSON

2008-11-04T22:06:00.000-08:00

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they Rubbed the Bottle, a genie appears. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him Out of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 Swimming pools. I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true." The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, Jumped and Shouted WINE". The pool immediately changed into a Pool of wine.The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and Shouted, "VODKA" And immersed himself into a pool of vodka. The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool. The last is the American. He was running towards the Pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards The pool And shouted, "SH** !!!!!!!........." MORAL OF THE STORY:Mind your language, you never Know what it will land You in.

Minister: China needs to resolve population problems

2008-10-23T02:47:00.000-07:00

China must address a number of major population issues that may hinder its further economic development, according to scholars at a population forum on Thursday.

It has to manage the largest population in the world, which will continue to put tremendous stress upon the country’s economy, natural resources and environment, said Li Bing, minister of the Population and Family Planning Commission.

China’s population will peak in the first half of this century to reach 1.5 billion in 2033, increasing by 8 million a year on average, he said.

The problem of employment will keep troubling the central as well as local governments. Its working population – people aged between 15 and 64 – will peak in 2016 to reach 990 million; 970 million in 2030 and 870 million in 2050, Li said.

Meanwhile, the governments must come up with policies to enable farmers who migrate into cities to enjoy the same rights as their urban peers. Some 300 million people will migrate from rural areas to settle in urban areas in the coming 20 to 30 years.

The country will also have to work out measures to handle well its aging population. The number of the Chinese aged 60 and above is expected to reach 162.4 million in 2020, and 320 million in 2040s.

According to a calculation of Cai Fang, a social researcher and director of the Population and Labor Economics Research Institute, of the China Academy of Social Sciences, the Chinese aged between 50 and 64 account for 20 per cent of the working age population.

However, many of them retire at ages such as 51, much earlier than the legal retirement age, either by forced arrangement or out of their own will. “This is a tremendous waste of labor resources,” he said.

Relax!!! have a seat... :)

2008-10-13T05:43:00.000-07:00

Relax!!! have a seat... :)

I'm really Sorry, Dear

2008-10-10T22:32:00.000-07:00

I know that I everytime show you this face below :

But I am Really SORRY,

MY DEAR

Dear readers, I had a fight with my friend, and now my friend is angry on me and thinks that we cannot have a good relationship with each other for a lifetime. However through this article I want to say my friend that I really LOVE her and I am sorry for all the past things.

It's Friday...

2008-10-10T20:29:00.000-07:00

Its

FRIDAY

So, no inspirational quotes,

no motivation,

no great sayings,

just a single message...

Finish your work fast

go out and

ENJOY !

Have a Great Day and a fabulous weekend!!!!!

Management in 5 min!!!!

2008-10-08T04:30:00.000-07:00

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

OPTICAL ILLUSION ON GERMAN TRUCKS

2008-10-07T04:04:00.000-07:00

OPTICAL ILLUSIONS

Here are 7 pictures of semi-trucks that their trailers are painted to look like the sides are missing and the products they are hauling are painted on the sides and back.

The first painting is one is of a bottle that looks like it is coming out the side of the trailer.
The second is a canvas tote bag:

The third is of Pepsi cases and they are all stacked on the ceiling, and the bottom of the trailer is empty:

The fourth is of a truck with the windshield facing the back, and there has been a driver painted in the drivers seat looking back over his shoulder to appear like he is driving backwards:

The fifth one is of an aquarium with fish swimming in it:

The sixth one is of a bookshelf with books lined up in it, and a post it note with an advertisement:

The last one is for Pringles Hot &Spicy. The side of the trailer has the appearance of having been through a fire that has ravaged the truck's interior:

Two Ghosts

2008-10-06T21:53:00.000-07:00

Two ghosts met and both chat about how they died.

1st ghost : How u died?
2nd ghost : I died of cold.

1st ghost : How does it feel when you're dying in cold?
2nd ghost : Actually, I was accidentally locked in the refrigerator.

Initially, I was shivering, then my whole body started to freeze, later I felt the whole world was dark and I died suffocating.

1st ghost : Wow what a horrible way to die....
2nd ghost : How about you? How u die?

1st ghost : I died from heart attack.
2nd ghost : I see, why did u have a heart attack?

1st ghost : Actually, I found out that my wife is having an affair with another man.

One day, when I came back from work, saw a pair of man shoes outside my house. Then, I realized that the guy was in my house with my wife. When I rushed into the bedroom, my wife was alone.

I must find where that Guy is hiding. So I searched the toilet, I ran downstairs, looked in the storeroom, but the Guy was not there. So, I ran upstairs and searched the wardrobe, but I found nothing.

Because of all that running,I got a heart attack and died.

2nd ghost : Why you never look for the Guy in the fridge? The Guy was hiding there. We both might be alive now!!

My Point Exactly

2008-10-06T07:41:00.000-07:00

An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up...

The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said ,'Things are great and I've never felt better.' I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.
'So what do you think about that Doc ?'

The doctor considered his question for a minute and Then began to tell a story.
'I have an older friend , much like you, who is an avid hunter And never misses a season.'

One day he was setting off to go hunting.
In a bit of a hurry , he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun.'
'As he neared a lake , he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge.
He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature.
Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as If it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'.'
'Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.

Now, what do you think of that?' asked the doctor.
The 86-year-old said ,
'Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else
Pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.'
The doctor replied , 'My point exactly.'

Skills only found in Asia

2008-10-03T20:25:00.001-07:00

1 more corporate lesson

2008-10-01T02:11:00.001-07:00

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MORAL

WISDOM

2008-09-30T04:37:00.000-07:00

A priest dies and is waiting in line at Heaven's Gates.

Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket and jeans.

Saint Peter addresses him, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you into the Kingdom of Heaven?"

The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, taxi driver, from New York ."

Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

Now it's the priest's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am the Right Reverend Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last forty-three years."

Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the priest, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

"Just a minute," says the priest. "That man was a taxi driver. Why does he get a silken robe and golden staff?"

"Results," shrugged Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept. When he drove, people prayed."

Moral of the story :

It's Performance, Not Position, That Counts

At Training Program for Top Management

2008-09-29T05:57:00.000-07:00

A well-known motivational speaker gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife !"

The crowd was shocked!

He followed up by saying, "That woman was my mother!"

The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which was well received.

About a week later, one of the top managers who had the training decided to use that joke at his house. He tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It was a bit foggy to him.

He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"

Naturally, his wife was shell shocked, murmuring.

After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who she was !"

As expected, he got thrashing of his life time....

Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste

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ANOTHER MANAGEMENT LESSON

Never start a project unless all resorces are available. See below....

Difference between Appraisal and Resignation

2008-09-28T04:33:00.000-07:00

A newly joined trainee engineer asks his boss "what is the meaning of appraisal?"

Boss: "Do you know the meaning of resignation? "

Trainee: "Yes I do"

Boss: "So let me make you understand what a appraisal is by comparing it with resignation"

Comparison study : Appraisal and Resignation
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In appraisal meeting they will speak only about your weakness, errors and failures.
In resignation meeting they will speak only about your strengths, past achievements and success.
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In appraisal you may need to cry and beg for even 10% hike.
In resignation you can easily demand (or get even without asking) more than 50-60% hike.
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During appraisal, they will deny promotion saying you didn't meet the expectation, you don't have leadership qualities, and you had several drawbacks in our objective/goal.
During resignation, they will say you are the core member of team; you are the vision of the company how can you go, you have to take the project in shoulder and lead your juniors to success.
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There is 90% chance for not getting any significant incentives after appraisal.
There is 90% chance of getting immediate hike after you put the resignation.
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Trainee: "Yes boss enough, now I understood my future. For an appraisal I will have to resign ... !!!"
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The World's Best of BEST'SSSSSSSSSssssss

2008-09-27T21:41:00.000-07:00

WORLD'S BIGGEST INDOOR SWIMMING-POOL

World Water Park…..Edmonton, Albert, Canada…SIZE….5 Acres

WORLD'S BIGGEST OFFICE COMPLEX ………… CHICAGO

Chicago Merchandise Mart…..Illinois, USA

WORLD'S BUSIEST AIRPORT……………NEW YORK

J.F.K International Airport , New York………………..USA

WORLD'S WIDEST BRIDGE………AUSTRALIA

Sydney harbor bridge, Australia.............

16 lanes of car traffic............ 8 lanes in the upper floor, 8 in the lower floor

WORLD'S LONGEST BRIDGE……………CHINA

Donghai Bridge , China ……………………32.5 kilo meters

WORLD'S BIGGEST PASSENGER-SHIP

MS Freedom of the Seas……4300 passenger Capacity Inside

WORLD'S BIGGEST PLANE……………AIRBUS

Airbus A380………..555 Passengers

WORLD'S BIGGEST BUS

Neoplan Jumbo -cruiser……..2 in 1 bus….double deck bus……170 passenger capacity

WORLD'S HIGHEST STATUE…………….BRAZIL

CHRIST THE REDEEMER STATUE…..RIO.D.J………BRAZIL

WORLD'S TALLEST BUILDING………DUBAI

Burj Dubai……….900 meters high. To be finally completed 2008

WORLD'S LARGEST PALACE…ROMANIA

Palace of the Parliament…..Bucharest, Romania ……….
more than 500 bedrooms, 55 kitchens,120 sitting rooms

WORLD'S BIGGEST STADIUM……….BRAZIL

MARACANA STADIUM………… RIO D.J…………BRAZIL……………CAPACITY…199,000

MOST COMPLEX INTER-CHANGE………TEXAS

Interstate 10 Highways Interchange……Houston, Texas.

WORLD'S BIGGEST EXCAVATOR

Built by KRUPP of Germany………….45,500 tons……95 meters high……215 meters long

WORLD'S LARGEST MOSQUE………………PAKISTAN

Shah Feisal mosque…..Islamabad……Pakistan
Inside hall capacity ….35, 000 outside overflow capacity…… 150,000

WORLD'S BIGGEST HOTEL………LAS VEGAS

MGM Grand Hotel….Las Vegas….6, 276 rooms

WORLD'S MOST EXPENSIVE HOTEL …DUBAI…U.A.E

Burj Al Arab Hotel, Dubai….only 7 Star Hotel in the World Cheapest room…
$1000 per night.…..Royal suit…$28,000 per night

WORLD'S BIGGEST CHURCH BUILDING………NIGERIA

Winners` C hapel…….Canaanland ………. Otta…..…
Nigeria Inside Sitting Capacity……50,000 Outside Overflow Capacity……250,000

WORLD'S BIGGEST ROMAN-CATHOLIC CATHEDRAL…………IVORY-COAST

Management Cartoons - Part 2

2008-09-27T18:18:00.000-07:00

Management Cartoons

2008-09-26T02:26:00.000-07:00

Some of CONFUSING ENGLISH make me headache, would u help me?

2008-09-23T22:43:00.000-07:00

1. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

2. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

3. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

4. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

5. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

6. Why the man who invests all your money called a broker?

7. If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?

8. Why is it called building when it is already built?

9. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

10. If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?

11. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

12. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?? Human ??

13. If working hours are meant for working, then why are you reading this??

Well, get back to WORK now!!

Stiff After Three Hours really Freak!!

2008-09-22T22:11:00.000-07:00

Man, I am getting old. I spent only three measly hours this morning sanding and cleaning two of the walls in the spare bedroom. And I am so stiff now I can hardly stand. You’d think all the dog sports I did would actually get me in better shape. Or be more flexible, anyway. But apparently not.

The first picture is before I emptied out the room and started. These last two are after I was done with the two walls. Whoever lived here before us must have smoked, because the walls are yellow acnd dripping. Not as bad as some I’ve tried to clean and paint over… but bad enough. Plus, whoever painted didn’t put any primer on the baseboard or the door molding. I’ve been sanding it off completely, and easily. And I just don’t know if I’ll have the gumption to sand it all off, or if I’ll just sand most of it off and call it good.

Maybe my sister will like to come help me paint once the prep work is done. Painting takes the least amount of time, though. Prep takes about 100 times longer. Oh well.. it’ll get done. I’ve been avoiding this room for almost nine years. It’s the last upstairs room to get painted (well, except the kitchen, but the kitchen is gonna be gutted so it doesn’t count). So finally I’m getting around to it.

I’m not rushing, though. I’m taking it easy and only doing what I feel like doing at one time. I don’t care if it takes me all fall, or all winter. I want to do it slowly and do it right.

Not sure what color I’m going to paint… the carpet (the only room in our house left that has carpet) is blue with grey flecks. And I don’t want either blue or grey, and I’m not sure what will match. Oh well, I’ll find something!

The Donkey Attitude

2008-09-22T08:27:00.000-07:00

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

MORAL :
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happens.
3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less from people but more from God.

God bless us all!

Some Important Laws Which Newton Forgot to State...

2008-09-21T10:19:00.000-07:00

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
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LAW OF TELEPHONE : When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
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LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR : After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
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LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
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LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
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BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
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LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
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LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!
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LAW OF BIOMECHANICS : The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
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THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.
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LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

How to Handle Sentimental Clutter

2008-09-21T10:05:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you, but I find myself with things stashed away in cabinets that I know I'll never display or use again, but I just can't bring myself to part with them because a certain person gave it to me. Or it evokes a wonderful memory from my past.

Marcia Francios over at Organising Queen has posted a couple of times now on a great idea to reduce sentimental clutter.

Take a picture! You can memorialize it in a photo album or in your blog. This way, you keep the visual stimulus of that person or memory without taking up the space!

Grand ma in Court

2008-09-20T09:24:00.000-07:00

Lawyers should never ask grandmas a question if they aren't prepared for the answer .

In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand.

He approached her and asked; " Mrs.. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you're a big disappointment to me.

You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.
Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, " Mrs.. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women.

One of them was your wife. Yes I know him."

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench and in a quiet voice said:
"If either of you rascals asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair ."

Indian Hell !

2008-09-20T09:09:00.000-07:00

A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.

He goes to the German hell and asks,"What do they do here?"

He was told,"First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."

The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"

He was told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."

"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?"

"Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the canteen!!!!!!

Some Freaky Stuff

2008-09-19T08:43:00.001-07:00

This neonate bat, fell down on our courtyard in heavy rain, from some nearby tree.. it was so young, it hadn’t even opened its eyes...

I didn’t know what to do, and somehow picked up the delicate thing and placed it on a small garden shrub...

I came back in the evening, and looked for him but he was not there where I kept.. I hope his mother found him and took him away...!

Introduction

2008-09-19T08:43:00.000-07:00

I may not be a big writer, but whatever I will write, I will do it with complete honesty and give 100% satisfaction, as you will see as I progress... it's like my reader is a part of my family. I too raise a family, and I know how challenging & fulfilling it is...

The Blogger community is the best forum for young folks like me to reach across to wonderful people like you to exchange our thoughts and views about various topics in life. So please read if you're a serious reader only. Because gonna write some wonderful articles on various topics.

Feel free to exchange your thoughts, your queries & your opinions with me.